Now we're getting somewhere!(?)

Autumn confessed that she thinks she likes me and I confessed that I think I like her. I think we're um... something... I don't really know what. It's fun.

Dragon Drop Soup

I think she likes me.
Does any of that matter?
I think I like her.

My life will be risked tomorrow.

I'm... hesitant. You know how girls can be though...

Number one fear: Girls. It has to be conquered sooner or later. Might as well embrace Risk Of Death.

1000 Asks

You ask for something a thousand times you never expect to get it...

And when you do get it, what do you do with it?

A difficult time in my life

Whew... my life has been perfectly tumultuous lately.

I'm getting all kinds of signals from all kinds of places, messages about life. Pop culture, counter culture, Christian culture and all the conflicting ideas inside.

I guess I'm ready for a change in my life. I was hit with the realization that the entire rest of my life is going to be miserable. But that's only if something doesn't happen to change it. I just want something interesting to happen. I mean, like, I could just give up on school and drive to California and make my way aimlessly till I die. Who says that that path will be the "worse" one for me. I can't even define "worse" or "better" for my life. Nothing matters after I die, which is the only thing that is for certain.

I could just hurry up and die... but I don't think I've got enough living in yet. There are so many things I want to experience! And from now on, instead of just thinking about them, I've going to try to accomplish them! (and when that happens maybe I won't want to get it over with and die.)

Drop

"It's a beautiful world we live in... Mostly cuz you're here."

I wish I had someone in my life to drop that line on. Not just for the sake of dropping the line; but because I wish that I really felt that way about someone. I'm realizing how lacking in honesty I've been. Well, it's gonna be that way no more.

(I'm a fake, cowardly, jerk-off bastard. There, I said it. Now I've got nothing left to lie about.)

It's pretty damn awesome

Haha, I'm like, whoa. I don't even know what to think about, but if I did, I'd think about it and be like, "whoa...."

Heavy...

Password Incorrect

Have you ever gone to log onto your computer and when you entered your password you didn't enter it quite right. So you tried again, and the second one wasn't right either. And you only get three tries before it locks you out. So you type it a third time and double check it and do everything you can possibly do to get it right.

But it's wrong. Again.

And your computer locks up, and there's nothing you can do. After it's locked nothing you try can get a response. The computer is my heart. The passwords... well, they're my exes. My failures. And now there's no way to move forward. I'm utterly useless to anyone.

My heart is locked up like a computer...

Isaiah 29:12-16

Once in a while it feels like God is talking straight to me. I'm totally a pot telling the potter He don't know nuthing.

I am lost

Living like this is pointless. Trying to change it, so far, is pointless as well. I tried confidence, I tried perseverance, I tried intellectualism. I had them for breakfast today. (Thanks, Anders.)