Hey what's up!
Right now I'm still out of the relationship. *officially*
But I'm about to go back. I just want her back dammit. I don't know why and I don't know if it's the smart, the calculating, the reasonable thing to do.
I'm gonna do it anyway, damn you.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Saint Xalentine's Day
Let's see. Here's the beef.
Saturday the 29th of January I broke up with Autumn in a deluge of tears and desperation, from both of us. I left as soon as I could tear myself away and cried all the way home.
I felt like crap for three days and had to do something so I went back Tuesday and we talked it over, we also kinda made-out it over.
Throughout the week I resolved to try to keep the breakup final, rather than give her hope. but I kinda didn't do a very good job of that. It's just so hard to say things that would hurt for her to hear. (I know I sound so wishy-washy, bleh!)
Today, valentine's-eve, I was over there and we hung out and did the whole "just friends" thing for a few hours, but I did it again. We ended up making out. It felt so good, but perhaps that because it felt so wrong.
Most of me is saying I don't want to be with Autumn forever. My body is saying, "Get what's right in front of you. Derp" Kissing is really good. But it isn't everything.
I'm like, on a knife's edge, do I keep her? or do I find someone new?
That's what's troubling me. I know it probably sounds kinda puerile, but writing it down has been therapeutic.
Saturday the 29th of January I broke up with Autumn in a deluge of tears and desperation, from both of us. I left as soon as I could tear myself away and cried all the way home.
I felt like crap for three days and had to do something so I went back Tuesday and we talked it over, we also kinda made-out it over.
Throughout the week I resolved to try to keep the breakup final, rather than give her hope. but I kinda didn't do a very good job of that. It's just so hard to say things that would hurt for her to hear. (I know I sound so wishy-washy, bleh!)
Today, valentine's-eve, I was over there and we hung out and did the whole "just friends" thing for a few hours, but I did it again. We ended up making out. It felt so good, but perhaps that because it felt so wrong.
Most of me is saying I don't want to be with Autumn forever. My body is saying, "Get what's right in front of you. Derp" Kissing is really good. But it isn't everything.
I'm like, on a knife's edge, do I keep her? or do I find someone new?
That's what's troubling me. I know it probably sounds kinda puerile, but writing it down has been therapeutic.
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