Finally it's over and over for good.
It feels so freeing to be done with that relationship. I'm glad I finally decided and decided to leave it.
I've never felt it truer: getting back together is stupid because you broke up for a reason.
Now what? I don't know. But I can at least daydream about meeting an amazing girl.
Even though... those aren't real.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Dingbat
I still can't freaking make up my mind! I don't really care that much about her weight. Most likely she'll be pretty hot a year from now if she keeps a healthy lifestyle. and anyway, when people get old they look pretty disgusting no matter which way you look at it.
It's her maturity and intelligence that bothers me now. And even that is kinda stupid. I really should not begrudge her of the silly slogans she repeats or the misuse of the occasional word. I mean maybe she did eat a contraption rather than a concoction. I wasn't there, what do I know?
On the other hand, smart girls with a good way with words and broad scope of knowledge turn me waaaay on. And a mature girl with mature friends would make my life easier.
So, what's it going to be then, eh? (To quote my droog, Alex)
I'm thinking... ah screw it, I'm going to give up.
It's her maturity and intelligence that bothers me now. And even that is kinda stupid. I really should not begrudge her of the silly slogans she repeats or the misuse of the occasional word. I mean maybe she did eat a contraption rather than a concoction. I wasn't there, what do I know?
On the other hand, smart girls with a good way with words and broad scope of knowledge turn me waaaay on. And a mature girl with mature friends would make my life easier.
So, what's it going to be then, eh? (To quote my droog, Alex)
I'm thinking... ah screw it, I'm going to give up.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Xenon
I'm absolutely torn directly in two.
Autumn... how does she do this to me? I want abnegation from her so bad, and yet almost at the very same time I want complete unity with her.
The only things left that are repulsing me are her distance and her fat. She's changed her life so much since I've known her but I still don't want her as she is. Brutally honest, I know, but that's what it has come down to. I'm not going to make mistakes I've made before. I'm gonna be realistic.
Would it be unacceptable to refrain from getting back together with her until I'm physically attracted to her? and in the meantime pursue others? or is the mere fact that I think that way a portent of my flawed nature as a selfish bastid. I want it all! You can't begrudge me trying to get that! Even if I do have to break her heart, I tried my very hardest to avoid it, better than most guys would, I care; I swear I care!
I'll do it anyway, damn me!
Autumn... how does she do this to me? I want abnegation from her so bad, and yet almost at the very same time I want complete unity with her.
The only things left that are repulsing me are her distance and her fat. She's changed her life so much since I've known her but I still don't want her as she is. Brutally honest, I know, but that's what it has come down to. I'm not going to make mistakes I've made before. I'm gonna be realistic.
Would it be unacceptable to refrain from getting back together with her until I'm physically attracted to her? and in the meantime pursue others? or is the mere fact that I think that way a portent of my flawed nature as a selfish bastid. I want it all! You can't begrudge me trying to get that! Even if I do have to break her heart, I tried my very hardest to avoid it, better than most guys would, I care; I swear I care!
I'll do it anyway, damn me!
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