Let's see. Here's the beef.
Saturday the 29th of January I broke up with Autumn in a deluge of tears and desperation, from both of us. I left as soon as I could tear myself away and cried all the way home.
I felt like crap for three days and had to do something so I went back Tuesday and we talked it over, we also kinda made-out it over.
Throughout the week I resolved to try to keep the breakup final, rather than give her hope. but I kinda didn't do a very good job of that. It's just so hard to say things that would hurt for her to hear. (I know I sound so wishy-washy, bleh!)
Today, valentine's-eve, I was over there and we hung out and did the whole "just friends" thing for a few hours, but I did it again. We ended up making out. It felt so good, but perhaps that because it felt so wrong.
Most of me is saying I don't want to be with Autumn forever. My body is saying, "Get what's right in front of you. Derp" Kissing is really good. But it isn't everything.
I'm like, on a knife's edge, do I keep her? or do I find someone new?
That's what's troubling me. I know it probably sounds kinda puerile, but writing it down has been therapeutic.
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