Bubble

I always seem to stumble into the land of laterna magika when in a heavy mood. Whenever there are glimpses of happiness in my life is when I'm farthest away from here. So this post is dedicated to those moments.

I went tricking today and I felt happiness while in the air and free. Not many people can say that. As crestfallen as I get sometimes (see pretty much all my other posts) I have a body and living conditions that can support a tricking lifestyle. If I fall away from that it's my own fault for squandering one of the few footholds I have.

Music. It is beautiful. There are so many good songs out there and I have access to them. That's a rope thrown to me to pull me out of depression's mire. I like trance and sexy dirty vocals and RHCP and more if I cared to continue.

Yoyos. When there's nothing left to do, yoyo. It's always there, never shifting, forever standing strong. I escape into another world when I yoyo, no matter where I am I can escape if I want to.

My friends are pretty good. some of them not so much, but you get out what you put it and it's my fault if friendships are crumbling. But anyway, for some reason spending time with freinds brings me joy.

Xbox games are fun. Sorta hollow and limited as to quantity of enjoyment, but nevertheless, there are moods that are perfect for relying on a game to get me through the day.

I live with a really good guy, Drew. Best room mate ever kinda guy. The living conditions as far as domestic life are pretty nice. And we're getting along together pretty well. (I think.)

I'm watching Black Cat which is a reallly good anime. Just what I want out of anime. I was watching Ao No Exorcist which is even better and super awesome, but it is still airing so I have to wait a week between episodes. TT______TT

So those are the kinds of things that I love. Let's see.... how well do they stack up against my troubles....?

I have no girlfriend and no love, I have almost no money and minimal food, God's got His back to me (and I don't blame Him, I've been behaving quite heathenistically, lately), I'm in debt pretty bad, I don't have a future, I'm failing really badly at a class that will holistically obliterate my college career if I don't pass this time.

I guess it's a toss up, an optimist would say all-in-all it's a pretty great life, but a pessimist would say it's totally crappy and all kinds of miserable.

One more thing; I don't know what I am anymore. I guess I'm undecided on the optimist/pessimist thing and attitude in general.

Ah well, I suppose I can't trouble myself with how I feel about life. It's not like my perceptions of how I am even matters. It is unnecessary information.